In the beginning

I had a dream. And in this dream I was walking across the sand. And when I looked back I saw that sometimes there were two sets of footprints in the sand. And I said to the Lord, why are there sometimes two sets of footprints in the sand. And he said, that is when I accompanied you on your journey. Why then, I asked, are there sometimes only one? That, he said, is when I kicked your arse and told you to get on with it.

There are some christians who feel themselves to be held in the arms of god and who lead protected lives. I am not one of them. Although there have never really been times that I doubted the existence of god, there have been many times when I fell his absence more than his presence. But when I wavered I was always conscious that the shoe of god was not far behind.

And that is reflected in these memoirs.

They began as magazine articles: writing from Zimbabwe to my former parishes; marking thirty years in the priesthood; reflecting on a life on stage; and as a blog pointing up the absurdity of much that passes for church life. I have filled in some of the gaps and added a bit of my early life.

Some names have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. And I have tried to include some of the angels and saints that I have met as much as those that terrorised me. Those I tried to get to see how ridiculous they were.

Perhaps it has been a part of my own disposition that I have often gravitated towards those that others find most difficult. I have enjoyed the company of outsiders.

Posting dates have been changed to get the material into some sort of order. But they can be read in any order.